Lately, I’ve come across many “viral” videos on social platforms screaming that “we” should raise our standards, having fewer friends but higher-quality relationships. Not that I have that many friends to begin with. Yet, out of the blue, this one particular video triggered my fear mode. It said, “You need better friends.” When I saw that, I immediately asked myself: Am I good enough to remain friends with my current friends?!

My anxiety kicked in just like that. I’m not sure how many people will have the same reaction as I do. At this moment, I jot down this quick note hoping to acknowledge my emotions, chaotic or not, so that I can move on. I have absolutely zero doubt in my ability to pick friends, especially my besties, and I hold them dearest to my heart. Therefore, when it comes to such a situation, my first reaction is to reflect on myself.

I remember I had this kind of conversation with one of my best friends. I’ve always believed that people would cease or downgrade the friendship once one outgrows another and see no value added from this so-called friend. When I type it out, it does sound transactional somehow. But to be fair, what can possibly keep you as friends if the two of you can’t align your values, can’t help one another, can’t share your stories without feeling welcomed, and can’t bring comfort or peace or happiness or something novelty to another’s life?

And now, back to the initial issue. If the statement “You need better friends” is true, do my friends need someone better than me as I am now? Or are we still friends just because we have been friends for so long? Well, I think I’m a decent friend, but am I enough? Honestly, I don’t know the answer to all of that. But this is me trying.

In hindsight, it’s so funny that sometimes, my besties fight my inner voice harder than I do. But I’m always careful not to drain anyone when feeling blue. We all have our battles. I’m thankful some chose to tell me about theirs and listen to mine. I guess, as long as we can do that, we are still friends, very close ones.